Week 5- Conflict

Think about any disagreements, or conflicts, you have recently experienced or are currently experiencing at work with a supervisor or colleague, or someone in your personal life. Share at least two strategies you have learned about that might help you manage or resolve the conflict more productively, and why these strategies might be effective. For example, could you suggest a compromise? Could you look for a broader range of solutions to your disagreement? Could you use some of the principles of nonviolent communication or the 3 R's to better help you resolve this conflict?

- My last disagreement was with  my 2nd supervisor in charge. She constantly comes into my classroom and tells me "I'm not doing something right". I have come to the understanding and realization that prior to me being hired, that was her classroom, so she hasn't fully detached herself from the class. She constantly wants me to leave everything in the same place as when she had the class, and to do things her way. Which I absolutely refuse because I am my own person with my own style. I had this conversation with her on more than one occasion, what worked for you over the last 20years, may not work for me with the new children. I was next told that I never complete any of my paper work on time and need to do a better job as the lead teacher. My first reaction is to be aggressive and to protect my character. After expressing that paperwork gets completed when time is available, she decides she doesn't like my answer, and said no it's because I make excuse after excuse. Well I take offense to that especially when I tell her each day Oh, the internet is out again, or can you put coverage into my class so I can go into the hallway and work on paperwork, or oh the fact that I've had 5new children within the past week and half on top of 2 constant all day children who cry nonstop. I then realized since she's not understanding my point of view nor is sensitive to my struggle, I then ask for assistance without being aggressive nor making facial expressions. One suggestion that was given is to either find or make time to get it done, everybody else does. I think said my last statement and went quiet. Which was, I refuse to take work home because I am not on the clock and nothing we(teachers) do are ever appreciated. Then I got another lecture on how "effective" teachers do things such as; take work home, and how one of her good friends does it all the time. I sat at the table with my hands folded and listened. I'm reminded from week 2 or 3 that in order to become an "effective communicator, you must be an effective listener", and from that point on I had nothing left to say!

Also, if appropriate, ask your colleagues for their input and advice regarding, if not specific problems, how they have learned to be more effective communicators as it relates to conflict resolution skills.

- Asking one of my coworkers from my classroom about how she communicates. She said at the beginning she asks for whatever it is that she wants and if it is not provided then she becomes very aggressive, irate, and remind them that they have done it for someone else and they going to do it for her as well. She states that while she knows being unruly doesn't help, but sometimes she feels that she is taken advantage of when she doesn't stand her ground. I asked her for instance how does she communicate when speaking to professional leaders. She said it's almost as if she goes into a little shell and only responds when a question has been asked to her.